Out of My Mind

This blog is very random and i try not being judgemental

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Thing about Humanity

Just saw a show on some vanguard channel, on the death beach of Yemen. The documentary was about the Somalian refugees who try to escape the situation of dire poverty and civil war in their country by sneaking into pirate boats to cross the gulf of Aden to reach Yemen, in hope of a better life. firstly, Yemen is no better. Secondly, the journey is nowhere near easy. Nearly 50,000 people crossed the Gulf of  Aden on 2008, 2,000 died on the way. The country has been in  a state of civil war for more than 25 years.


My idea is not to shed light on the story of Somalia, clearly I do not know enough myself. But after I saw the film or documentary or tv show whatever you may call it, I felt the need to question the definitions of fancy words like HUMANITARIAN, HUMANITY, RIGHTS, BLAH!!!

The story of  Somalia is excellent to make a film on, with the war and the deaths and the sad sad conditions, it definitely gives the urban educated global citizen food for thought . We may even discuss it with our equally intelligent peers, or maybe talk about it in one of our dinner parties over some champagne. But that's about it. It is easy to get over such issues as it is to be moved by them. Sitting here right now, there is nothing much I could think about doing myself ! But seeing those washed up dead bodies over the beach made me feel stirred thats human, but I am also human enough to forget about it before the 9 o'clock movie tonight. So thats that , as always my blogs are pointless and confused, and no one reads them...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The way we are

Lately I have been looking at things very differently. I always believed in the good over bad concept, but man the times have changed, or maybe I just woke up to the realities that have existed as long as cockroaches. What i realize now is that people are so odd. Yeah I have observed closely and after much thought I conclude: human beings are odd. Its like a constant state of conflict that has prevailed on planet earth, always.

As I am typing away this post I know I am making very little sense but that's what I am trying to say here. We don't make sense. Sense is nonsense. Its does not exist. I hate to accept it but I have always been the"thinking types' so even when I was eight I thought a lot about life and I am only eighteen so it sounds weird but I have given up, well not really but I guess life and people are not really things you understand,or figure out or like have policies for, its not math or politics, its fukin life. Just that. That explains it. That explains the fact that there are no explanations.
Why the hell does there have to be a right and wrong? Won't it be much easier to  take one day at a time. Why the hell do we need rules, isn't it better to make choices as and when they come to us? And what's with all the principles, huh?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

out of my freakin mind..

I wish I could fly
and go to a place so breathtakingly beautiful
there's nothing wrong with this world
but sometimes I just need a break
to listen to sounds other than the ones from my i-pod and TV
It's not like life isn't good enough
but sometimes I wish I could be
in a place where I can see
stars from an open field
just after the rain
Its not that talking isn't good
but sometimes I wish I could sit around all my friends and not say a word
I wish I could sit on a rock and stare at the sea
when there's no one but me
the waves and the setting sun
I wish I could walk in the pouring rain
and hear not the traffic
but the pouring
I wish there were someone who's know before I tell.
I wish there was a song for me
and that I was a simple melody
I wonder what the words of that song would be
I wish that there was nothing to figure out
and we all took life as it came
but then again i know for sure
If all I want were true
I wouldn't wish it were the same

Sunday, March 21, 2010

talk about hypocrisy

To be opinionated is one thing but to be so rigid about your opinion that you would not even consider the possibility of the opposing argument being even  remotely justified is narrow minded stupidity of the highest order. This is my opinion and I refuse to budge from it come what may!!!!!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Small town girl

My father was in the Army( he is now retired and is a commercial pilot) so most of my childhood i spent moving from one town to another .I have grown up small army stations like Leimakhong ( Manipur), Dhrangdhra in Gujrat, Devlali in Maharashtra...I mean, Ambala Cantt. was my idea of a big city till I came to Delhi.
So when I came to Delhi after two years in a boarding school, I was apprehensive, scared and at the same time I was not interested. For the first time in my life I did not want to make new friends.
Although I decided to close myself this time was because the latest separation had been way too painful,  a small part of me knew that i was a misfit here. I was a small town girl and this is a big city. This was Delhi.

I remember I had come to Delhi once in class four to meet my  relatives  and while I was traveling in an auto my eyes started to water because there was too much smoke. From places where the whole town happened know each other to a place where you tend to not know your neighbor, the change was drastic and disconcerting.
Two years down the lane, I did make friends, I did settle down.
It took me longer than ever before but as always I ended up just fine.
But here's the  real thing. I studied two years in    DPS, by the time I passed out, I walked the walk and talked the talk .I was fine, but I was still a small town girl . I still hated the crowded markets, malls and south ex did not excite me. And I hated sarojni nagar and dilli haat ( although i must have been there only twice in the two years of school) because the crowd freaked me out. I hated that everybody lived so far from each other, I hated that I had to live in flats and was happy in school and miserable before and after it. Even when I was alright, I wished that I could see the stars at night  like i used to in Sabathu , after it had rained, because that's one of the privileges big city people don't get. The pleasure of simplicity.
When I started applying for colleges, I was at the rock bottom. When I came To Kamala Nehru College,Delhi university.I could not have been worse.
This is where it all starts for me. I  LOVE this city. Mostly Thanks to LAKSHYA ( the theater society  that i am a part of) and also thanks to my new friends, But I have been around the city, shopped for L.B.D.s for Rs 25.. traveled from Okhla to Indraprastha in a bus at 7 pm, Sarojni is an everyday affair, Dilli Haat is my fav., i love the people, the way the are, the slang, the code of conduct, I love the ;lechy men  who stare at you on the road, i love the flyovers the green and red DTC a.d LOVE the metro, i love India gate, I LOVE C.P., I LOVE  Dwarka with the redis that have New York style head bands all for 10 bucks, the rikshawalahs, te hookas and the thekas.
The realization of my love for this city fell upon me when I was at CP, I had just got a pair of jeans stitched at Mohan Singh Palace and I was waiting for DTC 500 so that I could go back to college. I had to wait for quite some time, I had to then go to Jantar Mantar and take a 544 instead. That's when I realised that I loved this city, because it gave me the one thing that  I craved  for the most all my life: FREEDOM. Its true that every-time I go to a new place I do end up loving it. but this one is different, I don't just lov ethis place because ii have settled down I love it because i have logical reason to. Like there are all kinda of people here, from those who love metal to those who love Dylan to those who love both to those who love both. This city has got a chat ki dukaan every 500 meters . This city have got the most horrible auto wallas but also the most chatty and helpful ones. This city has culture.

I am a small town girl and live very happily in a big city

Friday, March 5, 2010

Whos god? which GOd what god???

The concepts of atheist and agnostic are pretty blurred in my head. I guess that agnostics are the people who have an 'i don't know' attitude towards god or they believe in something but they don't know what that is. Yeah the concepts of god, religion and all are pretty complicated. Those who believe just do , those who try to rationalise just end up being confused or repulsive. I think that it is ok to be any of the above but here's what i believe. I believe  that the truth is only what a person believes to be true.Gods existence for a person is as lucid as strong is his faith. This faith may not necessarily be driven by some sort of logical understanding. Its just what someones believes in: you have to respect that.It is amazing what faith could dp- this statement is highly subjective- but believing in something with all your heart, it does make a difference, good or bad? It depends.

I do not affiliate myself to any religion. It may be partly due to my lack of knowledge or understanding but it is mainly because I love and repel all religious pracctices in a way. Or maybe i am not just strong enough to have such faith.. whattever there ason may be..u really dont want to get to all that ull just end uo really comfused.
Anyways, i admire and respect the faith certain kind of people have in respective gods, it must take some good element of character to be so true to what you believe in. However i do have a problem when people around me acct hypocritical and myopic. Yeah!we are a religiously Myopic society. We are not ready to look beyond what we have chosen to be our faith. That as i learned only recently, goes not only for the believers but also for the confused non beleivers , the rationalists , all of them are trying so hard to justify or propagate their own stand that they do not  realize that you could stick to your side without putting the other side down. Even the agnosts try putting the beleivers downt , mostly unconsciously by being unsessitive to their religious beleives.
FOOTNOTE: if none of this make any sense to you stop reading now cz its going to get worse